Ask Me About My Grandcats!


See that sticker on the bumper of my car? It says, “Ask me about my grandcats!” I applied it to my car with sincerity. Go ahead: Ask me about my grandcats!
Notice how the sticker is an actual sticker and not some fly-by-night magnet that can be applied and taken off on any philosophical whim. No, my sticker is permanent. Ask me about the cats!

I’m sure at first glance you might have presumed that my bumper sticker was a typo, but it’s not. The silhouettes of the numerous cats next to the wording disprove your “misspelling” theory. No, this bumper sticker is the real deal.

If you’re reading this sticker, then you must be behind me, stuck in traffic, trying to pass the time, I suppose. But there are no other stickers to read on the back of my 1986 Chevy Windsor. Why not get out of the car, give a rap on the driver’s side window and heed the words of the sticker? Come on over. I won’t bite!

Here’s a little secret of the cat-trade: it is not too difficult to become a grandparent of cats. They actually reproduce quite rapidly. Why, you could go through three generations of catdom in five years’ time if you don’t mind a little incestuous magic with your cat family. I got the sticker when I first became a cat grandparent over 12 years ago. At this point, to be honest, my sticker should say, “Ask me about my great-great-great-great-great-great-great Grandcats,” but I don’t think my bumper is wide enough to hold such a sustained message! Nyuk Nyuk!

And these aren’t just cats, mind you. They’re grand-cats, and I mean that in every sense of the word. Would you like to hear the reasoning? All you have to do is ask! All somebody has to do is ask!

My latest generation of cats seems to have been born without much motor skills. They tend to limp while they walk in concentric circles, but that only adds to their adorability and cutesy-wutesy ways! Also, their eyes are colorless.

Are you intrigued? Would you like to hear more? Come on over! Before the light turns green! You shan’t regret it! Ask me about the grandcats!